my father's death

My father passed away on Monday 24th/ July

I could not to be there with him for his last breath, actually even close family member could not make it, either. They were staying with him till 16:00 at hospital, and left for preparation for the night. Then, brother was unexpectedly called to come back hospital at 16:30, but, when he arrived there 16:44, father already passed at 16:40....

When I got news that he gets an another pneumonia and water in his lungs, I was in the festival in alps, Switzerland for DJ on Saturday.

Family member was told by doctor, if he could pass through this unstable condition, he may be ok another one or two months, or maybe just a week, etc. so, it was quite not sure how he gonna be, and we all thought, it's not that emergency.

I left festival Saturday midnight for my flight to ibiza as I scheduled. And on my way back, I booked flight ticket to Japan which leaving Tuesday early morning, I needed to manage my things in ibiza and packed for travel to Japan but, not sure how long.

Then, I rest that night on Sunday, after the sleepless night travel from the festival. I woke up Monday morning, I still needed rest and was staying in the bed,,, then got shocking message from brother.

"Called by doctor ! Going to hospital!! "

After ten minutes next message ,,

"He's gone... "


Luckily my loved one next me, and told him, my father died,,, he was also shocked. he kindly hold me, then, I cried for a while.

" He didn't wait me? I should back Japan from the festival direct ! "

When I start regret,,, I felt ..... my father made sure that his precious daughter is in her lover's arm when she got saddest news in her life , instead hold his hand when he passed over... wow...... such a great father... always children is first priority and I felt appreciations.

I see more clearly it was surely his arrangement after I came back Japan. I had most tightest transits time all the way to family house from airport, because, my flight from Spain delayed, Etc. then had to rearranged all, run air plain to train and next train, and it was almost miracle I could make it on time for his funeral.

His buddha face departed body was beautiful, like a doll, but so skinny,,,, but in peace ,,, surrounded by tons of flowers, many people came to farewell. Japanese funeral process like 24hours for family members. so I'm deadly tired... but looking back my last a year and half life with him...

I must say, nursing parents were great opportunity and special gift.. it's not easy, but worth to did, And I'm so happy I did it.. both for mother and father. Mede me better person and I want to thank my father to gave me this experience.

He told me long time ago,, "Hideyo, there is no perfect, you never reach perfect, but you must try to be/do perfect. "

It was such a long journey,, and yes sometime I had been in difficult time with my father,, and often I needed support from my good close friends, though all of those are turned to good memories, and surely, there are more good memories with his charming funny and cool personality as well. And some part of me still can't believe he's gone,, thinking he is here in our living room as he was like a year ago... and calling me.

Last.... thank you so much all of you whom caring of me and us... thank you so much warm comments and messages for my FB post, made me cry with pleasure... thank you so much read this...


 the sun rise from airplane when I left ibiza to Japan..

the sun rise from airplane when I left ibiza to Japan..